This week’s post is quite a personal one. It’s been one that has been due to go up for a while, each time not posting it for various reasons. But realistically, this blog is my personal journey so I feel that it fits.
For those who know me, I am quite a proactive person. That is just who I am. So because of this, I am often asked what motivates me. How and why I am so motivated towards my future. This kind of question goes deeper than a standard response. Seeing as I am being asked this a lot and this blog is helping my future, I thought I would address it in a post….Address my motivation and reflect back on where I think it comes from….
Sometimes, things in life happen that we don’t understand. Some happen when we are young, some when we are older. Things which throw us off the path we had envisioned. Unsettle dynamics. Take us out of our everyday routine and stop us. They happen and some stick around.
I’m not going to go into details about the situation behind my motivation because that is too much for this blog. But the thing is, nothing can prepare you for seeing a parent or a family member ill. It completely changes things. We all have an idea in our heads of how we will deal with tricky situations like these, but the reality is, you can’t prepare or know how you will be when it happens. Dynamics and people change forever. Faced with new challenges and new hurdles.
So, whether anybody would be willing or not to admit it, people change because of these situations. And that itself takes time to deal with. I had to grow up at a young age. The situation matured me but also made me more scared and anxious than I used to be and mostly scared of failure. Any situation like this is an emotional rollercoaster whilst also trying to juggle everyday life alongside. Sometimes even missing out on things. Sometimes going through days when you just need a hug.
Many situations we find ourselves in cause us to question ‘why us’. There is no real answer to this apart from teaching us things about ourselves. We will all have that one or few people we can call on, come day or night. Because sometimes things do get too much and it is ok to lean on these people. It is ok to teach ourselves that emotions are ok and it’s ok to have self-love. A very wise person told me that we always presume there is a right way to deal with things without showing emotion and being on top of everything. But really, the only right way is the way with the most happiness.
And then really, I can write this but I am not the one who has to deal with the conditions, attend regular hospital appointments and go through the medical routines morning, noon and night.
It’s a huge part of my life and I will happily admit it.
Because regardless of who you are or what you have gone through, sometimes things change you as a person. These things teach us lessons about ourselves. Yes, this situation has changed me but actually, it has made me hungry.
Hungry to be someone.
And this is where it matters.
Time after time, people ask me what motivates me. How am I so motivated to create this blog alongside Uni, how am I so motivated to do things to help my future.
My situation motivates me.
It motivates me to become someone. Without my situation, I would not have grown into the person that I am today. I would not have gained the social confidence that I have. I would not be able to write this blog, network or push myself into an industry such as PR. I would not have got my internship. I would definitely not be moving to London next month (how quickly has that come around??!!!), I can guarantee that. It has shaped who I am and created opportunities for me because of this. It has taught me to be grateful, to value things and take opportunities to be the best person I can be.
Because the thing is, my situation isn’t going to go away. There will be countless times when things will overwhelm me and I just carry on because I am only looking in. Someone else has to deal with worse. And these people are true superheroes. I learn a lot about courage from that person in my life. Learnt about strength, perseverance and what really matters. I’ve learnt a lesson in believing in myself. A lesson in stepping out of the comfort zone and seeing what is out there. Life is too short to not live life to the full and embrace the opportunities.
So when I need it to, the situation fuels me. Fuels my need to succeed and my hunger. Fuels me. It is part of me. It is what motivates me.
So because of this, my #ThursdayThought mini-series will be taking a break for a while. I have a really busy month with University and I need to focus on that for a while. Getting a degree is what I am here to do – everything else is a bonus. It doesn’t mean to say that I will forget about this blog, I will still aim for a post every week! But, I want to restart #ThursdayThought as a permanent series when I have more time to focus on creating a really interesting set of topic questions!